Holotka the Cougar
Posted: April 26, 2013 Filed under: Writing | Tags: Auto-Tune, Bitch It Up, Cougar, Holotka 2 CommentsLike a menopausal Rebecca Black with money to burn and a staggering amount of self-confidence, a new singer called Holotka the Cougar has burst onto the musical scene. I am simultaneously terrified and inspired by this video. Please to enjoy the overly auto-tuned musical stylings of her NSFW song “Bitch It Up.”
Note: Though absolutely TERRIBLE, this song is diabolically catchy. Consider yourself warned.
I don’t understand why they keep kicking me out of Forever 21.
Holotka the Cougar really needs to find her a Tony the Tiger to tame that middle-aged puss puss down. She’s out of control. I am literally shaking in my Eastern European Versace knock-off work boots.
I love that video but every time I watch it I keep thinking that Chris Hansen is going to bust in with the To Catch a Predator crew – “Ma’am, I need you to unhand that teenager and take a seat.”