Now ya’ll know how much I love a Bigfoot cake. Now there’s a brilliant new twist on the genre: the Yeti Bundt cake! You slice a seemingly boring cake open to reveal the secret Sasquatch within. Now let’s be clear – it’s no Biggie and Nessie cake. But it’s pretty damn cool.
Bigfoot-flavored — it tastes like blueberries and blurry camera work.
*Thanks to FOB Jennifer Malone for sending this one in. You rock, Jen!
A new cryptozoology documentary airs this Friday, Oct. 24, on the Destination America cable network. Set in Texas and Louisiana, the show follows the hunters/trackers of the Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization (GCBRO) as they scour the woods for a Yeti to shoot. That sounds heartless, but their premise is that they are basically paranormal exterminators who are only out to kill “nuisance” Sasquatches.
I’m introducing a new feature to NFHIFW: book reviews. For weirdos*.
*And by weirdos, I mean people who like to read about Big Foot, UFOs, Nessie and Roswell and anything else that would intrigue Fox Mulder. In short, people like me. And clearly you, since you’re reading this blog.
First up on the Weirdo Bookshelf is American Monsters: A History of Monster Lore, Legends, and Sightings in America by Linda S. Godfrey. This book has it all: sea serpents, giant bats and monkey men. Godfrey covers the monsters of America from pre-Columbian times to modern-day sightings. Plus, check out the lifelike illustrations. (And by lifelike, I mean inadvertently hilarious.)
A werewolf, an alien and Bigfoot walk into a bar…
Bigfoot fans should check out this awesomely Squatchy podcast, hosted by longtime Bigfoot researcher Chuck Prahl, (Chuck writes one of my favorite Squatch blogs – BigfootBuzz.net.) Click here to listen to the latest episode.
(Thanks to Chuck for re-blogging my recent Bigfoot poll!)
Tune in… or else.
Cryptozoologist Rick Dyer (star of a documentary called Shooting Bigfoot) was recently awarded the corpse of a Sasquatch he claims to have shot in San Antonio after winning a court battle with the film’s producers. He has announced the he will now tour the country with said corpse, charging curious visitors a fee to view the body of Bigfoot, AKA Biggie. (I’ve preemptively given him a nickname, in case we ever meet and be come BFFs — Beast Friends 4EVA.)
Kenny Rogers has really let himself go.
Dyer has a lot of critics in the Squatch community, who claim that he’s a shyster. Regardless of the facts, if the Dead Bigfoot Body Tour comes to Fort Worth, I am there like underwear.
In July 1969, Fort Worth residents woke up to a startling article in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “Fishy Man-Goat Terrifies Couples Parked at Lake Worth.” The editors had a field day with the story for the rest of the week, coming up with headlines like “Lake Worth Monster Reportedly Furry, Scaly,”“Ghost of Greer Island” and — my hands-down favorite — “Witnesses Watch Monster Cavort.”
The Goat-Man made his first appearance when he menaced three young couples parked near Greer Island at Lake Worth. The terrified teenagers described it as half-man/half-goat to the police.
“Hey, kids… can I interest you in a detour onto the three-way freeway?”
Stay tuned for Part 2, in which pranksters claim to be the monster (i.e., the Scooby Doo protocol) but witnesses insist they saw a real creature, and unsavory rumors circulate about the Goat-Man’s parentage.
To find out more about the Lake Worth Monster, set your DVRs to record Monsters and Mysteries in America on the Destination America channel tomorrow night to catch Star-Telegram Columnist/Friend of the Blog (FOB) Bud Kennedy discussing the finer points of fishy goat-men.
* Shout-out to FOB and screenwriter extraordinaire Cathy Bible for finding this knitted piece of Yuletide Yeti goodness.
It’s been a pretty big week for our boy Bigfoot, He’s got a brand new video out.
Bigfoot’s been camera-shy ever since he got that disastrous Brazilian wax.
He’s also had some big audiotape news. On BigfootSounds.com, R. Scott Nelson (a retired Navy linguistics expert) claims to be able to speak Sasquatch and has posted his own phonetic Bigfoot alphabet. The crypto-linguist has recently translated recordings of the legendary Berry-Morehead 1970s audiotape of Bigfoot speech. The transcript reveals that – like 68% of other overweight Americans – Bigfoot is obsessed with food.
He’s calling Jenny Craig.
Twitter recently verified a Twitter account for Sasquatch, which they only do for actual famous people. So clearly he exists. Case closed. Also, the big guy is apparently shilling for a jerky company. (Sellout.)
You can follow him at @mesasquatch. He tweets a lot about squirrels. And how best to eat them. Good times.
Posting selfies with other celebs is so tacky.