Cryptozoologist Rick Dyer (star of a documentary called Shooting Bigfoot) was recently awarded the corpse of a Sasquatch he claims to have shot in San Antonio after winning a court battle with the film’s producers. He has announced the he will now tour the country with said corpse, charging curious visitors a fee to view the body of Bigfoot, AKA Biggie. (I’ve preemptively given him a nickname, in case we ever meet and be come BFFs — Beast Friends 4EVA.)
Kenny Rogers has really let himself go.
Dyer has a lot of critics in the Squatch community, who claim that he’s a shyster. Regardless of the facts, if the Dead Bigfoot Body Tour comes to Fort Worth, I am there like underwear.
It’s been a pretty big week for our boy Bigfoot, He’s got a brand new video out.
Bigfoot’s been camera-shy ever since he got that disastrous Brazilian wax.
He’s also had some big audiotape news. On BigfootSounds.com, R. Scott Nelson (a retired Navy linguistics expert) claims to be able to speak Sasquatch and has posted his own phonetic Bigfoot alphabet. The crypto-linguist has recently translated recordings of the legendary Berry-Morehead 1970s audiotape of Bigfoot speech. The transcript reveals that – like 68% of other overweight Americans – Bigfoot is obsessed with food.
He’s calling Jenny Craig.
Twitter recently verified a Twitter account for Sasquatch, which they only do for actual famous people. So clearly he exists. Case closed. Also, the big guy is apparently shilling for a jerky company. (Sellout.)
You can follow him at @mesasquatch. He tweets a lot about squirrels. And how best to eat them. Good times.
Posting selfies with other celebs is so tacky.