Bizarre Nazi Program to Breed Giant Rabbits Revealed

Posted: September 29, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

Details of a weird Nazi breeding program were recently uncovered in an old German archive. It seems that S.S. Chief Heinrich Himmler — occultist, former chicken farmer and all-around bastion of sanity — orchestrated a plan to secretly raise giant Angora rabbits in concentration camps during World War II in order to provide warm, fur-lined coats for Luftwaffe pilots. The program was adorably called Operation Munchkin. For reals.

German Rabbit Program

Members of Operation Munchkin, arguably the cuddliest Nazis ever. 

The rabbits were humanely raised in warm hutches and more than one poor inmate/caretaker was executed for not showing Himmler’s bunnies “enough respect.”

Himmler-1933

Heinrich Himmler: Rabbit Activist. 

Bunny Wabbit

Stare into the face of evil. Snuggly, wuggly evil. 

 

Mysterious Creepy Clown Caught on Tape

Posted: September 27, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

A not-at-all-insane person has been spotted lurking around the town of Northampton in the U.K. dressed like a homicidal clown. He never speaks — he just stares at people as they walk/run by trying not to scream, presumably to the store to buy replacement underpants.

o-CRYINGWITHFEAR-570

Here he is, being absolutely fucking terrifying while holding toy balloons. 

Imagine running into this at night:

OHDEARGOD

Don’t mind me. I’m just here to eat your soul. 

Chuckles Manson up there was recently captured on video for the first time, silently being creepy as shit in a fountain.

While remaining anonymous, the mystery man described his behavior to a local newspaper as “just a bit of harmless fun.” He then climbed into a windowless van full of shovels and duct tape and asked for directions to the nearest kindergarten.

Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters! (Also, me.)

Posted: September 14, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Ghosts | 6 Comments

Very excited to be taking my first paranormal investigation class today! Taught by the owner of Fort Worth Ghost Tours, the workshop will discuss the basics of ghost-hunting and feature demonstrations on how to use the basic tools of the trade (K-2 meters, EVP recorders, etc.)

So, if you want to know if your house is haunted, call me. I will put my crack paranormal investigative skills to work. If you’ve got ghosts, it will be confirmed by me running away screaming in a very professional manner.

Scooby running scared

Bravery: It’s overrated.  

Spooky Jewel-Encrusted Saint Skeletons Found In Catacombs

Posted: September 11, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , | 5 Comments

In a particularly morbid find, a 400-year-old collection of heavily jeweled skeletons has been discovered in Europe. The bodies of Catholic martyrs and saints were meticulously decorated with precious jewels, pearls and crowns centuries ago and displayed for the poor to worship. Which in no way is a dick move by the Church at all.

St. Benedictus

Are we sure this isn’t what’s left of Liberace?

Some of them were displayed in rather flamboyant costumes.

St. Deodatus

Breast plate? Check. Hoop skirt? Check. Pimp cup. Check. Now, who’s ready to get saintly all up in here? 

And some were arranged in inexplicably hilarious, come-hither poses.

Just kickin' it, saint style

“How YOU doin’?”    

Cryptid Corner: Walking Shark Discovered in Indonesia

Posted: September 7, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Cryptozoology, Nerd HQ, Writing | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

A new species of shark that can actually WALK has been discovered in Indonesia. This new species uses  four sturdy fins like feet to waddle along the ocean floor looking for small prey.

It’s like watching the world’s ugliest underwater puppy. 

This new species is small and harmless to humans. SO FAR.

How long before it learns to walk on land? How long before it gets bigger and develops a taste for blood? How long before SyFy Channel execs have it starring in “Land Shark: Tooth or Consequences”?

Land-Sharks-1

I want to give you a big hug. With my teeth. 

Dear Japan: I Love You

Posted: September 5, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Nerd HQ | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

Dear Japan:

Damn you, you sexy bitch. You gross us all out by producing some of the most terrifying snack food on the planet.

Japanese Pepsi

 

Cumber Pepsi: Add a twist of radish to complete a hat-trick of horrible.

crispy_salmon_doritos-435x580

Crispy Salmon Doritos: Leave these out for Santa and see what happens.

Octopus-Ice-Cream

Octopus-flavored ice cream – Now with extra tentacle! (You knew there would be a tentacle joke in here somewhere.)

But then you lure me back with this hilarious video.

I wish I knew how to quit you.