Know Your Cryptids: The Snallygaster

Posted: March 31, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Cryptozoology | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Half-bird, half-reptile, the giant snallygaster has been terrorizing people in Maryland since the 1700s. It supposedly swoops down on its prey and flies away with them clutched in its metallic claws. Some versions of the snallygaster even report the beast sporting tentacles — all the better to snatch you with.

snallygaster

Why does it always have to be tentacles?

First reported by German settlers in 1735, the monster was originally called the “schnelle geist” – German for “fast ghost.” This later became bastardized to snallygaster, because — let’s face it – that’s just more fun to say. In it heyday, the snallygaster was pretty famous. Not Bigfoot-famous (it wishes!) but famous enough for Teddy Roosevelt to have a go at hunting it. At least according to the shady yellow journalism-style papers popular at the time. 

Snallygaster Newspaper Hoax

As he scraped Merle’s charred remains into a tote sack, Willie realized the shotguns were were not well thought out.  

NBA Players Freaked Out By Ghost Baby

Posted: March 27, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Ghosts | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Jeff Ayres and Tim Duncan of the San Antonio Spurs were unnerved by ghostly noises during a recent stay at California’s Claremont Resort while in Los Angeles to play the Golden State Warriors.

“It was the creepiest thing. I heard a couple of other guys heard babies in the hallway… I really heard voices and a baby in the room, and there wasn’t anybody in there. It was crazy,” said Ayres.

Duncan backed up the spooky story. “I heard a baby in his room…. I definitely heard something. It wasn’t creepy, because I assumed it was really somebody in the room, and they gave him the wrong room. But when they told me the story the next day about calling up there and no one in the room, it’s at that point you get chills,’ he said. “There was a baby there, absolutely.”

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Ghosts babies are the worst. They never stop boo-hooing. 

 

Special thanks to FOB Jennifer Malone for sending this one in! 🙂

Vanishing Planes Mapped Since 1948

Posted: March 20, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

In light of missing Malaysian Flight MH370, HuffPo has posted an interesting map of all the large plane that have vanished since the turn of last century. (For a laugh, click here to see how noted aviation scholar and non-drug-burnout Courtney Love solved the mystery using Google Earth and PaintShop Pro.) o-MISSING-PLANES-INFOGRAPHIC-900

How do we get Donald Trump’s plane on here? 

I would also like to welcome the blog’s newest member — Jamie. Thank you for signing up! 🙂

For Sale: Totally Not Haunted

Posted: March 13, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Ghosts | Tags: , , , | 26 Comments

Seems Legit, Part 2

Seems legit. 

San Francisco Bay Sea Serpent Sighting?

Posted: March 11, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Cryptozoology, Miscellaneous | Tags: , | 2 Comments

According to Mysterious Destinations Magazine, twins Bob and Bill Clark saw a giant snake-like sea monster chase a sea lion through San Francisco Bay in 1985. You can check out their interview here. Reports of a sea serpent in the Bay go back to 1895, yet the monster still doesn’t have a catchy nickname like Nessie or Ogopogo.

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Sir Humps-A-Lot? 

Sounds Like a Sleestak

Posted: March 7, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Cryptozoology, Miscellaneous | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Last month, a group of Arizona mountain bikers were startled to run into what they described as a “reptilian humanoid” in the middle of a trail in Sonoran Desert.

The witness told Cryptozoology News that the lizard man was man-sized and bipedal, but appeared to some kind of reptile-primate hybrid. So basically a Sleestak.

sleestak_attack_by_koku_chan-d4ok6u8

I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

This Week in Werewolf News…

Posted: March 4, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Bizarre, Cryptozoology, Miscellaneous | Tags: , | 2 Comments

Following last week’s story about a “werewolf” sighting in Brazil, NFHIFW is on bit of a werewolf roll… with more lycanthrope-related stories for you.

First, behold the terrifying adorableness of the Werewolf Kitten — a new breed of cat that has been bred to look like a werewolf — if it weighed five pounds and answered to the name of Mr. Snugglepants, that is.

Werewolf kitteh

The full moon! Bloodlust rising. I must find a victim to maim and… hey, is that a felt mouse? 

And because not a week can go by without America embracing some fad weight loss plan, I give you: the Werewolf Diet. Although running through the forest naked and howling at the moon would probably burn some extra calories, the basic gist of the program is fasting during the full moon.

Bodybuilder Werewolf

And lots of crunches, by the looks of it. 

The diet must work, though, because when I Googled werewolf pictures for this story, they were all surprisingly muscular and buff. In almost a sexual way. As if there was such a thing as werewolf porn. Oh, dear God. There’s werewolf porn.

That link is NSFL (Not Safe For Life). Do not click on it.

In summary: Werewolf Kittens – adorable. Werewolf Diet – dubious. Werewolf Porn – Rule 34 strikes again. I should really make a terrible joke about werewolves getting lots of tail at this point but I need to go scrub my brain with bleach.