This Week in Werewolf News…Posted: March 4, 2014
Following last week’s story about a “werewolf” sighting in Brazil, NFHIFW is on bit of a werewolf roll… with more lycanthrope-related stories for you.
First, behold the terrifying adorableness of the Werewolf Kitten — a new breed of cat that has been bred to look like a werewolf — if it weighed five pounds and answered to the name of Mr. Snugglepants, that is.
The full moon! Bloodlust rising. I must find a victim to maim and… hey, is that a felt mouse?
And because not a week can go by without America embracing some fad weight loss plan, I give you: the Werewolf Diet. Although running through the forest naked and howling at the moon would probably burn some extra calories, the basic gist of the program is fasting during the full moon.
And lots of crunches, by the looks of it.
The diet must work, though, because when I Googled werewolf pictures for this story, they were all surprisingly muscular and buff. In almost a sexual way. As if there was such a thing as werewolf porn. Oh, dear God. There’s werewolf porn.
That link is NSFL (Not Safe For Life). Do not click on it.
In summary: Werewolf Kittens – adorable. Werewolf Diet – dubious. Werewolf Porn – Rule 34 strikes again. I should really make a terrible joke about werewolves getting lots of tail at this point but I need to go scrub my brain with bleach.