Zoologists at a Dutch zoo are mystified by the strange behavior of a troop of baboons who recently began exhibiting bizarre PTSD symptoms. The baboons are hiding in trees and refusing to come out or interact with zoo visitors. It’s a extreme version of how primates in the wild react to an encounter with an apex predator, leading some to theorize that the baboons may have been traumatized by a UFO sighting.
Due to the large number of monkey cosmonauts launched into the galaxy as “test pilots” during the Space Race of the 1950s/60s, the aliens may have come to assume that monkeys are the most intelligent species on Earth. Also, that they are swinging bachelor playboys, based on those little jumpsuits. (You know how astronauts are.)
I’m kind of a big deal.
They’re probably just trying to broker a peace treaty and think the baboons are playing hard to get.
I’ve got a 50-gallon banana daiquiri with your name on it. Let’s talk.