After a hungry bear attacked, an 80-year-old Russian shepherd did what any typical octogenarian would do — he promptly got eaten. No, I kid. This happened in Russia, where bears are tough and the grandpas are even tougher. Yusuf Alchagirov immediately headbutted the bear and kicked it until it fell over. Humiliated in front of the other bears, the beast tossed the old man off a cliff and sauntered away, trying to look casual. And Yusuf brushed himself off, popped into the hospital for a check-up and then continued his day job of shepherding the hell out of some sheep.
So after kicking a bear’s ass and being THROWN OFF A CLIFF, Yusuf went back to living in his tiny Russian village, presumably where he sleeps on a large bed of money and naked Victoria’s Secret models.
Luckily, the fall was broken by his giant balls.