Sideshow Slaughter: The Murder of Lobster Boy

Grady Stiles Jr. was many things: Sideshow attraction. Inheritor of ectrodactyly, a hereditary condition that left him legless with pincher-like claws instead of hands. A shrewd business man. And, according to his battered family, a drunken, abusive asshat.

He openly boasted about shooting his daughter’s fiance to death in 1978 but was given probation because no prison would take him based on his condition. Known to go through a bottle of bottle of booze a day, he used his powerful upper body strength to beat his family regularly.

Not only a wife beater, Stiles was also — incredibly enough — a philanderer, bragging that “everyone who has sex with me wants to have sex with my claws.”

I’ll pause a moment to let you drink that image in. You’re welcome. 

Note that he said “everyone.” As in more than one human being found this sexy. Thus confirming Rule 34, which states that if it exists, there is porn of it.

Some in Japan is furiously masturbating to this right now.

His wife eventually had her fill of being pimp-slapped and hired someone to gun him down. His death was short and violent, much like Grady himself. And her revenge followed Lobster Boy and his creepy claws to the grave.

She put the praying hands on there after they refused to write “SUCK IT.”