My UFO Story: AKA Comet 289

I was in my backyard last Thursday night (08/28/14) wrangling dogs, when I saw the proverbial “lights in the sky.” At first, I thought it was the moon until I realized that the moon was shining in the sky behind me. I was standing there in the dark, completely transfixed by this thin crescent of light glowing against the night sky. Suddenly, it shrank down into a single orb of intense light and… vanished.

I stood there for a full minute afterward, completely unnerved and wondering if I had just had my first UFO sighting. I was half stoked and half freaked out.

Tragically – for me, at least – there is evidence that what I witnessed was most likely the perihelion of a rare comet called Comet 289/Blanpain. Which is pretty disappointing. If you’re going to witness a mysterious comet, you’re really hoping it will be named something more dramatic, like Frankenstein Thunderhammer or Blaze Destiny’Boom. *Sigh*

Professor Frink: “That comet is headed straight for us, with the fire and the impact and the 100% chance of pain… pain in the glavin!”

Note: Blaze Destiny’Boom is officially now my stripper name.