I was in my backyard last Thursday night (08/28/14) wrangling dogs, when I saw the proverbial “lights in the sky.” At first, I thought it was the moon until I realized that the moon was shining in the sky behind me. I was standing there in the dark, completely transfixed by this thin crescent of light glowing against the night sky. Suddenly, it shrank down into a single orb of intense light and… vanished.
I stood there for a full minute afterward, completely unnerved and wondering if I had just had my first UFO sighting. I was half stoked and half freaked out.
Tragically – for me, at least – there is evidence that what I witnessed was most likely the perihelion of a rare comet called Comet 289/Blanpain. Which is pretty disappointing. If you’re going to witness a mysterious comet, you’re really hoping it will be named something more dramatic, like Frankenstein Thunderhammer or Blaze Destiny’Boom. *Sigh*
Professor Frink: “That comet is headed straight for us, with the fire and the impact and the 100% chance of pain… pain in the glavin!”
Note: Blaze Destiny’Boom is officially now my stripper name.
It would be funnier if it wasn’t true.
An Air China Boeing 757 recently collided with an unknown flying object (UFO) at 26,000 feet, causing the pilots to make an emergency landing. When the plane reached the ground, the pilots were in for a shock — the nose cone of the plane was completely caved in. Check it out below:
Nothing to see here. Move along.
What’s even weirder is that the pilots didn’t see anything in their flight path. They just suddenly heard a loud bang and felt an abrupt, metallic impact. I’m not saying they did run into a UFO with a cloaking device engaged. I’m not saying they didn’t run into a UFO with a cloaking device engaged. But I am saying cloaking device a lot.
*cough cough* TOTES A UFO! *cough cough*
Official Chinese Government Explanation: “Blah, blah, swamp gas, blah, blah, weather balloon, blah blah, possibly a flock of geese. Blah.”
The Law of Physics: “Fuck you.”
The Huffington Post provided comprehensive coverage of the recent Citizen Hearing on Disclosure, a five-day Congressional-style hearing held at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. from April 29 – May 3. While HuffPo did file it under their Weird News section, the coverage is straight-forward, with none of the joking tone that the media usually employs when reporting on UFOs.
Check it out. There are no tinfoil-hat, conspiracy nuts speaking in these sessions. These are, for the most part, former Congressmen and Senators, former astronauts, and retired high-ranking Air Force officers. There is also video of a deathbed disclosure of government knowledge of aliens from an ex-CIA operative. Note: Ignore the crappy, circa-1997 look to the website featuring the ex-CIA confession. Just focus on the compelling video.
Are these ships from another galaxy or just top-secret military vehicles of our own? It’s open for debate. But, whether you are firmly in the “UFOs don’t exist” camp OR a full-fledged UFO believer, I think you’ll find these articles and the video interesting.
A special THANK YOU to FOB (friend of the blog) Jennifer Malone for sending this in, btw. 🙂
Kang: This post isn’t funny at all. When is she going to get back to making Star Wars jokes?
Kodos: I don’t know but this sucks. Put her on the PROBE ROSTER!
Now I love zombies as much as the next person, but this is a little creepy. A gentleman named David VanDerBeek is running for Governor of Nevada in 2014. On his website, VanDerBeek claims that he found a page on FEMA’s site that listed plans for a disaster drill called — and I quote — ZOMBIE UFO CRASH DISASTER FULL-SCALE EXERCISE. (See screenshot below.) He says that when he contacted FEMA for more information, they took the page down.
So either this guy’s a gubernatorial conspiracy nut with mad Photoshop skillz, or FEMA has a better sense of humor than we’ve been led to believe. This makes no sense. A zombie disaster drill? Sure. A UFO crash response exercise? Duh. (I’ve been to Roswell. I didn’t just fall off the alien turnip truck.)
But a Zombie UFO Crash drill? That’s just ridiculous. Zombies don’t have the motor skills required to fly a UFO. Everyone knows that.
This had better be fake. I have no idea how to fight off intergalactic zombies.