FEMA Planning Zombie UFO Crash Site Drills?Posted: May 1, 2013 Filed under: Nerd HQ | Tags: FEMA, Roswell, UFO, Zombies 2 Comments
Now I love zombies as much as the next person, but this is a little creepy. A gentleman named David VanDerBeek is running for Governor of Nevada in 2014. On his website, VanDerBeek claims that he found a page on FEMA’s site that listed plans for a disaster drill called — and I quote — ZOMBIE UFO CRASH DISASTER FULL-SCALE EXERCISE. (See screenshot below.) He says that when he contacted FEMA for more information, they took the page down.
So either this guy’s a gubernatorial conspiracy nut with mad Photoshop skillz, or FEMA has a better sense of humor than we’ve been led to believe. This makes no sense. A zombie disaster drill? Sure. A UFO crash response exercise? Duh. (I’ve been to Roswell. I didn’t just fall off the alien turnip truck.)
But a Zombie UFO Crash drill? That’s just ridiculous. Zombies don’t have the motor skills required to fly a UFO. Everyone knows that.
This had better be fake. I have no idea how to fight off intergalactic zombies.
This means that corn and grains are not part of this plan.
This happened because of our turtle-like evolution as well as
the world’s modernization. Experiencing easy weight loss and improved health on a diet
emphasizing vegetables and whole foods isn’t surprising to obesity experts like Dr.
So you’re saying that the zombies – being on a protein-based diet plan – will easily be able to take down the average overweight, Cheeto-obsessed American? Those fiendish bastards!