UFO Crash in North London!

Children at a North London primary school were astonished to find a crashed UFO half-buried in the tarmac when they went to class a few weeks ago. The ship was being guarded by a constable while a forensics officer collected evidence.

Rather than British Roswell, however, it turned out to be a staged event by the parents meant to inspire the children on Creative Writing Day.

The coolest thing that ever happened at my elementary was a trip to the local bakery. And those lucky little British kids got a U-F-freakin’-O crash in the middle of their playground… just to inspire them to write well.

Here’s a close-up of the saucer to rub it in. 

I’m currently campaigning to be adopted by one of these brilliant parents, but it’s not going well. Something about “you’re already an adult” blah blah “let go of my leg” blah blah “restraining order.” Kids just do NOT know how good they’ve got it these days.

And I’m officially turning into Grandpa Simpson in 3… 2…

If I’m not back at the home by nine, they declare me legally dead and collect my insurance.