Choose Your Superpower!

It’s the question that inevitably comes up at parties: “If you could choose a super-power, what would it be?” (Full disclosure: I go to some pretty nerdy parties.)

Think about the idiotic powers that some superheroes have. Wonder Woman’s invisible plane? In no way is that both impractical and likely to get you shot out of the sky by the military. Or, the lowest of all superheroes: Aquaman. That poor bastard’s only gift is the ability to telepathically talk to fish.

Aquaman: “This is your master. I command you to come rescue me from the evil Sea Kelp Killer.”

A fish: “Food. Survival. Food.”  

Aquaman: “Arghhh!” He dies.

Clearly the only superpower worth having is the mighty JEDI MIND TRICK. You can bend people to your will . Fighting crime? Walk up to the criminal and say “You no longer have the urge to be a douchebag. You now want to do charity work. While wearing clown shoes.”

What would  you would choose.?


These are not the droids you’re looking for. You want to give me your life savings.