Choose Your Superpower!
Posted: June 23, 2013 Filed under: Miscellaneous, Nerd HQ | Tags: Force (Star Wars), Jedi Mind Trick, Superhero, Superpower 4 CommentsIt’s the question that inevitably comes up at parties: “If you could choose a super-power, what would it be?” (Full disclosure: I go to some pretty nerdy parties.)
Think about the idiotic powers that some superheroes have. Wonder Woman’s invisible plane? In no way is that both impractical and likely to get you shot out of the sky by the military. Or, the lowest of all superheroes: Aquaman. That poor bastard’s only gift is the ability to telepathically talk to fish.
Aquaman: “This is your master. I command you to come rescue me from the evil Sea Kelp Killer.”
A fish: “Food. Survival. Food.”
Aquaman: “Arghhh!” He dies.
Clearly the only superpower worth having is the mighty JEDI MIND TRICK. You can bend people to your will . Fighting crime? Walk up to the criminal and say “You no longer have the urge to be a douchebag. You now want to do charity work. While wearing clown shoes.”
What would you would choose.?
These are not the droids you’re looking for. You want to give me your life savings.
No Faint Hearts in Fort Worth... 
At first I was gonna say no, flying has to be the thing. But the more I think about it, the more I see your point. This – the Jedi mind trick – is a power you wouldn’t have to keep secret. You’d be pretty much immune to reprisals. It can be applied to a million or more contexts. But man, the moral dilemnas, can you imagine? How do you not become a supervillain with a power like that. In fact, now I think about it, I see where Anakin was coming from after all. One proviso? The only power to possibly rival this would perhaps be Hiro Nakamura’s (is that the right spelling?) space-time thing in Heroes.
I promise to use my powers only for good. And…. world domination.
Stan Lee: He can’t be the Hulk… I’M the Hulk!
[rips his shirt open, growls, and tries to change into the Hulk]
Comic Book Guy: Oh, please. You couldn’t even change into Bill Bixby.
Stan Lee: Come on, dammit, change! Ah, forget it. I really did it once.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, yes. I just wish you had the power to leave my store.
pvenkman’s superpower is clearly the ability to make me laugh hysterically. Use your gift wisely, sir.