A giant squid, weighing over 350 pounds, was recently netted by Shigenori Goto off Japan’s Sadogashima Island in Niigata Prefecture. Extremely rare, with eyes the size of basketballs and eight creepy tentacles, giant squids are thought to be the basis of sea monster legends throughout the centuries.
Code name: Calamari.
These nightmares of the sea can grow up to 60 feet long and have a giant beak, like a parrot. Inside that beak sits a tongue covered in jagged teeth. Because Nature is a terrifying bitch.
Who wants a kiss?
And, oh yeah… each tentacle features a razor-sharp hook.
Even Great White sharks are like: “Aw, hell naw.”
Plus, recent scientific studies indicate that giant squid intelligence is on the rise.
So I, for one, would like to be the first to welcome our new Squid Overlords. The cuttlefish buffet is right this way, your Tentacleness.