Giant Red-Haired Cannibals Found in Nevada?

The Paiutes, a Native American tribe indigenous to the Nevada desert, have long told the tale of red-headed, man-eating giants who terrorized their tribe centuries ago. The red-haired giants stood at least 12 feet tall and preyed upon the women and children of the tribe, capturing them for food. According to legend, the Paiutes finally managed to trap the man-eaters in a cave and lit brush on fire at the entrance. The giants perished and the story faded into legend until 1911, when an amateur archaeologist discovered two enormous skeletons in Nevada’s Lovelock Cavern –a female standing 6.5″ and a male measuring at almost 8 feet. Both skeletons supposedly had red hair.  Check out the jawbone of one of the giants, compared to the cast of an average American male jaw:

Giant Teeth

Gary Busey, is that you? 

Giant man-eaters? Maybe. Super-creepy gingers? Definitely.


Your evil cannibal ancestors called. They said you’re embarrassing them. 

4 Comments on “Giant Red-Haired Cannibals Found in Nevada?”

  1. Joe Rocco says:

    I saw Carrot Top at my Whole Foods here in WeHo once and he had on this knitted winter cap, but you could see his dyed red Ronald McDonald hair peeking out under the wool. His face is quite freaky in person and I pretended to buy some organic cat food as he saw that i had locked eyes with him for a split second. It was as if a Chucky Doll had come to life. I will never forget that creepy plastic surgery-spliced face and Popeye-muscled body.

  2. Joe Rocco says:

    Here is a highly accurate “Re-Enactment” of what happened down that aisle at Whole Foods between Carrot Top and I.

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