Seven-Foot Satan Statue In Oklahoma City? This Is Sure To End Well.

A group of New York Satanists announced plans to erect a seven-foot-tall statue of Satan at the Oklahoma state Capitol building to protest the giant Ten Commandments statue that was built there in 2012.

Hell No

Nope, nothing horrifying about this. 

My Dad was from Oklahoma, so I know a few things about Okies. They like their guns loaded, their bibles thumped, and their Capitol buildings to be non-Satan-adjacent.

I’m all for free speech but if they put this thing up, it will last about week before someone shoots it, beheads it or converts it into a meth lab.

In summary: Good luck with this, Yankee infidels. This is TOTES a great idea that will in no way backfire whatsoever.

Jersey Devil Spotted In Oklahoma?

Cryptozoology fans were intrigued by a recent photo taken in Oklahoma of a mysterious animal bounding over a fence. The favorite theory was that it was The Jersey Devil. The creature (seen below) has now been identified as a hairless squirrel, much to the disappointment of crypto-buffs everywhere.

jersey devil in Oklahoma

“Goddamn paparazzi won’t leave a brother alone.”  

I think it looks more like Hellboy.


Case closed. That poor squirrel doesn’t look a thing  like the original Jersey Devil, described as a short, bizarre creature (seen below) that terrorized New Jersey.


Still more attractive than Snooki.