Jersey Devil Spotted In Oklahoma?

Posted: July 13, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Cryptozoology, Miscellaneous | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Cryptozoology fans were intrigued by a recent photo taken in Oklahoma of a mysterious animal bounding over a fence. The favorite theory was that it was The Jersey Devil. The creature (seen below) has now been identified as a hairless squirrel, much to the disappointment of crypto-buffs everywhere.

jersey devil in Oklahoma

“Goddamn paparazzi won’t leave a brother alone.”  

I think it looks more like Hellboy.

Hellboy

Case closed. That poor squirrel doesn’t look a thing  like the original Jersey Devil, described as a short, bizarre creature (seen below) that terrorized New Jersey.

426px-Jersey_Devil_Philadelphia_Post_1909

Still more attractive than Snooki. 

More Tentacle Sex Jokes: The New Jersey Sea Monster

Posted: June 21, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Cryptozoology | Tags: , , | 7 Comments

A New Jersey fisherman caught a horrifying creature that’s being called The New Jersey Sea Monster in the Raritan River two years ago. Although it looks like a sci-fi  special effect — possibly from a movie called Toothy Vagina Snake II: The Reckoning — it is, in fact, a sea lamprey. Which is basically a giant tentacle with teeth.  In other words, this is the basis for some deeply disturbing tentacle sex anime movies.

Tentacle monster

Someone in Japan is furiously masturbating to this right now. 

Word of the Day: Globster

Posted: June 6, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Cryptozoology, Nerd HQ | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

An unidentified, toothy sea creature (AKA, a globster) recently washed ashore in the U.K., causing speculation that it might be a deceased sea monster. Defined as “an unidentified organic mass that washes up on the shoreline of an ocean or other body of water,” a globster often sparks a lot of excitement and jokes about Loch Ness before it’s inevitably identified as the remains of a basking shark or — in this case — a large eel.

There have been reports of sea monsters (or lake monsters like Nessie) from all over the world. One of the most obscure yet interesting stories is Texas’ own Sea Monster of Port Isabel, which sparked a lively fishing competition off the Gulf of Mexico in 1938. The sea monster was reported by witnesses as being more than 40 feet long, proving that everything really is bigger in Texas.

sea-monsters-02

Hey, ya’ll! I just ate Big Tex.

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