Dear Japan: I Love You
Posted: September 5, 2013 Filed under: Nerd HQ | Tags: Cucumber Pepsi, disgusting Doritos, Japanese snack food, octopus ice cream, pranks 6 CommentsDear Japan:
Damn you, you sexy bitch. You gross us all out by producing some of the most terrifying snack food on the planet.
Cumber Pepsi: Add a twist of radish to complete a hat-trick of horrible.
Crispy Salmon Doritos: Leave these out for Santa and see what happens.
Octopus-flavored ice cream – Now with extra tentacle! (You knew there would be a tentacle joke in here somewhere.)
But then you lure me back with this hilarious video.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Sad Roswell UFO News
Posted: August 31, 2013 Filed under: Nerd HQ 4 CommentsLeading Roswell witness Dr. Jesse Marcel, Jr. — a retired Navy physician who went back to active duty to serve as a flight surgeon during the Iraq war IN HIS 60’s, earning the rank of colonel — recently passed away at his home in Montana.
Dr. Marcel, seen here casually being a bad-ass motherfucker.
Dr. Marcel’s dad, Major Jesse Marcel was the first military officer to arrive on the scene of the infamous Roswell UFO crash of 1947. Major Marcel brought home some of the debris to show his son and wife before it was confiscated by the Air Force. Jesse Jr. later wrote a fascinating book on the subject: “The Roswell Legacy.”
I got to meet Dr. Marcel at a press conference several years ago when I was a newspaper writer. He was gracious enough to autograph a Roswell book for me at that time.
The rumors that I geeked out like a UFO fangirl during this encounter have been greatly exaggerated.
Despite being a respected physician and Iraq war veteran, Dr. Marcel defied convention to insist that the Roswell crash did happen and that his father had been strong-armed into helping with the cover-up – a story I touched on in a previous post. He had the courage to stand by his convictions and will always be a hero of mine.
Rest in Peace, Colonel Marcel. You sleep among the stars now.
This Week in Loch Ness Monster News….
Posted: August 28, 2013 Filed under: Cryptozoology, Nerd HQ | Tags: Fort Augustus, Loch, Loch Ness, Loch Ness Monster, Nessie Leave a commentA Scottish photographer recently captured photos and a video of what he believes could be the elusive Nessie taking a swim through the Loch. It’s either the Monster or one GINORMOUS eel.
It’s huge, black and phallic. Call the Kardashian sisters.
Of course, some people love Nessie, and some people love Nessie.
Monster fetishes: More common than you think.
Also, for the record — do not Google “sexy lake monster” even to find funny photos for your blog. Bad things happen, people. Very bad things.
I think they mean “Lady of the Land of Lakes” Butter Fan Club.
Nerd HQ: The Most Romantic Thing I Have Ever Seen
Posted: August 26, 2013 Filed under: Nerd HQ Leave a comment
Why, yes… I do own Wookiee-print pajamas. Why do you ask?
Sometimes You Just Need to Pack Up Your Dinosaurs and Leave the Room
Posted: August 22, 2013 Filed under: Miscellaneous, Nerd HQ 2 CommentsCheck out this brilliant post about Ray Bradbury on my friend Anita’s wonderful blog “Anita’s Notebook”:
Packing up your dinosaurs… easier said than done.
Get Ready for Ghost Shark!
Posted: August 21, 2013 Filed under: Cryptozoology, Ghosts, Nerd HQ | Tags: Ghost, Ghost Shark, Sharknado, Slip N Slide, Syfy, Tim Taylor 2 CommentsEveryone set their DVRs for the world premiere of Ghost Shark at 8 p.m. CST Thursday on the SyFy Channel. In a move that promised to make Sharknado look like a guppy caught in a wind tunnel, Ghost Shark features the undeniable genius of people being haunted/eaten by a ghostly Great White. I am also thrilled to announce that Friend of the Blog and actor extraordinaire Tim Taylor stars in Ghost Shark as Deputy Hendricks. (It also features the guy who played Bull on Night Court.) But mainly Tim, who you may also know from an obscure little indie film called The Hunger Games. Will Tim get eaten by the Ghost Shark? Will he return for the sequel, presumably titled Return of Ghost Shark: Back for the Halibut? You’ll have to tune in to find out. For info on Tim, check out his website here.
A fat kid rides a Slip N Slide straight into the jaws of Ghost Shark. Because awesome.
To my knowledge, this is not a scene from Ghost Shark, but a photo that I found when I googled “Ghost” and “Shark.” Perhaps it’s a still from SyFy’s upcoming film SuicidalSharkMan: Nobody’s Chum.
(Seriously, though… what the HELL?)
CIA: “Area 51 Exists!” World: “Duh.”
Posted: August 16, 2013 Filed under: Miscellaneous, Nerd HQ | Tags: Area 51, CIA, Groom Lake, Paradise Ranch, Unidentified flying object 2 CommentsIn an announcement that surprised absolutely no one, the CIA has now confirmed the existence of Area 51. Of course, they gloss over any UFO references, referring to the site as a super-secret area dedicated to “testing spy planes.”
“Testing spy planes is slang for reverse-engineering UFOs, right?”
Despite having a variety of nicknames – including Dreamland, Groom Lake and the unintentionally hilarious Homey Airport – the base is officially known as Paradise Ranch. Which is a TERRIBLE name — it sounds like a Texas-themed titty bar. Although you have to admit having an on-base topless bar for the alien captives would be the hospitable thing to do. Someone get the Geneva Convention people on the phone…
You don’t want to know what she’s got going on downstairs.
Giant Red-Haired Cannibals Found in Nevada?
Posted: August 14, 2013 Filed under: Cryptozoology, Miscellaneous, Nerd HQ | Tags: Cannibalism, Lovelock Cave, Nevada, Paiute people, Red hair, Si-Te-Cah 4 CommentsThe Paiutes, a Native American tribe indigenous to the Nevada desert, have long told the tale of red-headed, man-eating giants who terrorized their tribe centuries ago. The red-haired giants stood at least 12 feet tall and preyed upon the women and children of the tribe, capturing them for food. According to legend, the Paiutes finally managed to trap the man-eaters in a cave and lit brush on fire at the entrance. The giants perished and the story faded into legend until 1911, when an amateur archaeologist discovered two enormous skeletons in Nevada’s Lovelock Cavern –a female standing 6.5″ and a male measuring at almost 8 feet. Both skeletons supposedly had red hair. Check out the jawbone of one of the giants, compared to the cast of an average American male jaw:
Gary Busey, is that you?
Giant man-eaters? Maybe. Super-creepy gingers? Definitely.
Your evil cannibal ancestors called. They said you’re embarrassing them.
Dutch Baboons Buzzed by UFOs?
Posted: August 9, 2013 Filed under: Miscellaneous, Nerd HQ | Tags: Baboon, Dutch zoo baboons, Unidentified flying object 4 CommentsZoologists at a Dutch zoo are mystified by the strange behavior of a troop of baboons who recently began exhibiting bizarre PTSD symptoms. The baboons are hiding in trees and refusing to come out or interact with zoo visitors. It’s a extreme version of how primates in the wild react to an encounter with an apex predator, leading some to theorize that the baboons may have been traumatized by a UFO sighting.
Due to the large number of monkey cosmonauts launched into the galaxy as “test pilots” during the Space Race of the 1950s/60s, the aliens may have come to assume that monkeys are the most intelligent species on Earth. Also, that they are swinging bachelor playboys, based on those little jumpsuits. (You know how astronauts are.)
I’m kind of a big deal.
They’re probably just trying to broker a peace treaty and think the baboons are playing hard to get.
I’ve got a 50-gallon banana daiquiri with your name on it. Let’s talk.
It All Goes Back to Blade Runner
Posted: July 20, 2013 Filed under: Nerd HQ | Tags: Blade Runner, Deckard, Harrison Ford, Replicant, Rick Deckard, Ridley Scott 16 CommentsEverything basically goes back to Blade Runner for me. It’s my favorite movie of all time, so I am understandably stoked about the upcoming sequel.
Ridley Scott is supposedly wooing 71-year-old Harrison Ford to reprise his role as Deckard. (If I’m going into full-sci-fi-nerd mode here, I might find this problematic since Deckard turns out to be a Nexus-6 replicant in the film and technically would not have aged.)
However, I am so excited about a sequel at this point that I would pay top dollar to watch Harrison Ford eat lunch at Red Lobster – as long as he wore that cool trench coat.
Advertising of the Future: Why hasn’t this happened yet? I would buy literally anything a 17-story geisha told me to.
No Faint Hearts in Fort Worth... 
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