I’m introducing a new feature to NFHIFW: book reviews. For weirdos*.
*And by weirdos, I mean people who like to read about Big Foot, UFOs, Nessie and Roswell and anything else that would intrigue Fox Mulder. In short, people like me. And clearly you, since you’re reading this blog.
First up on the Weirdo Bookshelf is American Monsters: A History of Monster Lore, Legends, and Sightings in America by Linda S. Godfrey. This book has it all: sea serpents, giant bats and monkey men. Godfrey covers the monsters of America from pre-Columbian times to modern-day sightings. Plus, check out the lifelike illustrations. (And by lifelike, I mean inadvertently hilarious.)
A werewolf, an alien and Bigfoot walk into a bar…
On this day in 565, the first sighting of the Loch Ness Monster was reported by the Irish monk St. Columba. The saint reputedly drove the rampaging monster back into the loch by making the sign of the cross.
A plunger will do in a pinch.
So this happened last night in Houston.
Note to self: stock up on tin foil for hat.
UFOs over Texas? I’m not saying it was aliens. I’m not saying it wasn’t aliens. However, I am saying – let the intergalactic record show – I am not into probe play. Thank you.
The controversial baker who brought us last year’s food craze (the Cronut) just introduced his latest gourmet goodie – the peanut butter pretzel – which looks like a pastry penis. That you’re supposed to dip into a buttery sauce and put in your mouth.
You had me at buttery sauce.
People are already lining up around the block to get their hands on it and genital jokes abound. Baker Dominique Ansel, however, is shocked, shocked I say, to hear his latest described as phallic. He claims that it is supposed to look like a lobster. Riiiiiiiight. A lobster.
I’ll take a dozen.
Even the Gatekeeper of Gozer has to watch her figure.
Trivia note: In a deleted street scene from an early draft of the Ghostbusters script, Zuul feels bad for a carriage horse wearing a bridle and kisses it.
Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
I am equal parts skeptical and stoked about the upcoming documentary Aliens on the Moon: The Truth Exposed, airing tomorrow night (Sunday, July 20) on the SyFy Channel.
On one hand, it does feature commentary from Apollo 11 astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Edgar Mitchell, as well as rare mission photos purporting to show evidence of structures and crafts on the lunar surface.
But on the other hand, the show was produced by Robert Kiviat. This is the man who brought us the absurdity that was Alien Autopsy, the “documentary” from 1995 that was so poorly faked I expected it to have blooper reels.
Oh, who am I kidding? They had me at “aliens.”