#StormtrooperProblems

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

Stormtroopers


Aliens on the Moon?

I am equal parts skeptical and stoked about the upcoming documentary Aliens on the Moon: The Truth Exposed, airing tomorrow night (Sunday, July 20) on the SyFy Channel.

On one hand, it does feature commentary from Apollo 11 astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Edgar Mitchell, as well as rare mission photos purporting to show evidence of structures and crafts on the lunar surface.

But on the other hand, the show was produced by Robert Kiviat.  This is the man who brought us the absurdity that was Alien Autopsy, the “documentary” from 1995 that was so poorly faked I expected it to have blooper reels.

Oh, who am I kidding? They had me at “aliens.”

face, faces, moon, lunar, surface, apollo, 18, 19, 20, 21, ufo, ufos, sighting, sightings, NASA, dome, crater, real, destination truth, alien, aliens, ET, daily1

Pictured: Credibility. 


Happy Roswell Day!

On July 8, 1947, the Roswell Daily Record startled the nation with a bold headline.

RoswellDailyRecordJuly81947-660x464

And then the cover-up began.

Roswell cartoon

 


Behold! The Vampire Squirrel of Borneo

Scientists recently shot a rare photo of the elusive Vampire Squirrel of Borneo, seen below looking like a short, angry weaponized kangaroo. The Vampire Squirrel, which gets its nickname from its rumored taste for deer blood, is twice the size of a regular squirrel and has the bushiest tail of any known species.

In summary: Weirdest. Squirrel. Ever.

vampire squirrelPhil Spector

Taste for blood? Check. Giant afro? Check. Totally nuts? Check and mate. 

 


NASA Launched a Flying Saucer On Saturday

In the “Clearly They’re Now Just Messing with Us” news category, NASA conducted a test flight on Saturday for its new vehicle, which just happens to look exactly like a flying saucer. Designed to help slow the descent of heavy spacecraft into Mars’ thin atmosphere, the Low-Density Supersonic Decelerator (LDSD) failed to deploy its parachute during the test but NASA officials still declared the experiment a success.

A NASA spokesperson stated “The test vehicle worked beautifully, and we met all of our flight objectives. *Also, in no way did we reverse-engineer the craft’s design from anything found at Roswell. Werner Von Braun who?”

*Full disclosure: I may or may not have made that last bit up but you know they were thinking it.

Code Name: “Make Mulder Cry” 

Special thanks to FOB extraordinaire Kang for both sending me this story and loaning me the hardware to publish it. You rock, Kang! :)


Happy Easter!

Your Easter just got a little more hilarious/terrifying thanks to the good folks at Sketchy Bunnies.com. (PS: Welcome to your new addiction.)

Image

Minutes later, they realized the mask was made from human skin.


“Sea Monster” Sighting! Rare Oarfish Captured on Video

Oarfish are an extremely rare species that almost never seen alive, preferring to live in very deep ocean waters. These red-crested beauties can grow up to a length of 36 feet and look more like snakes than fish, leading scientists to believe that oarfish sightings may have been responsible for sea serpent reports of the past.

800px-Giant_oarfish_bermuda_beach_1860

I can’t imagine why. 

Oarfish are usually very shy, so tourists in Mexico were recently surprised when a couple of uncharacteristically outgoing specimens showed up in shallow waters near the Sea of Cortes, apparently looking to party.

“Okay, okay… you don’t date fish. Geez, I can take a hint.”

 


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 99 other followers